The other day I was talking to a friend on call and our discussion diverted over the “chase” that we have been cardinally following. School, college, job, marriage, kids – we all have set timelines in our minds. Job by 22, marriage by 25 and kids by 27, especially in India. There is a clock for everything in Indian society and if you do not adhere to these timelines, you are doomed in the eyes of everyone and sometimes yourself too.
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We are in a constant pursuit of something or the other. The pursuit becomes unhealthy with constant grit and turns into a chase. Chasing goals, people, money, cars, etc. becomes synonymous to progressing in life in no time. If we are not chasing something in life, it seems abnormal. In all this, we never realize that these desires and constant pursuit are nothing but an abuse of our mind and soul. We always read and are advised to have healthy relationships with people around us but perhaps the most unhealthy relationship we have is with ourselves.
We criticize ourselves, loathe ourselves for not being good enough. We all have been through the same things. The chase may or may not take us somewhere, but it surely leads to tremendous amount of anxiety and frustration. We choose to follow desires and once they are fulfilled, 99% of the time we do not know what to do with it. We start chasing some other thing, then another. It is similar to the event when a dog chases a car. It barks and runs behind the car in full swing and once the doors of the car open, the dog becomes clueless. It comes back to its place and chases every other car passing by. We all do the same.
Chasing does not make us happy, contentment does.
Being happy is a choice, a conscious decision that needs to made by cutting out the “chase” from life. Gautama Buddha has told in very simple words that ” an individual suffers because of the need to satisfy the desire to leave that smothering cycle of suffering.” Coming out of the cycle is an important way to break the cycles of sadness and frustration. The key here is stop chasing and feel content with whatever you have. I was going through the phase where I was focusing towards and their fulfillment instead of focusing on my well-being and happiness. Keeping ourselves happy is the priority here.
What is your way of keeping yourself happy and not following the chase?
Let us know in the comment section below!
Happy winters 🙂
Great post and it is so accurate. We do spend our lives in pursuit of so many things, and sometimes simply because of social pressure. It took me a long time to accept myself as I am and be happy with the person I have become over the years. Of course, we continue to strive for improvement but until we are happy with ourselves, nothing on this earth can bring us true happiness. ““The day you stop racing, is the day you win the race.” – Robert “Bob” Nesta Marley (1945-1981)
True words. It is so much pressure and it is very necessary to realize bigger goals in life and make ourselves happy.
I feel glad to see you writing this post. Stay happy! 😊
Had written it before but reframing it today helped me to vent out 🙂