March is the month for remembering the contribution of women to human history and contemporary society. It started with celebrating women’s day in the second week of March when we celebrated Women’s day. The month reminds us of greatness that women have blessed humanity with, over the centuries.
I read two books written by women this month, before landing my hands on “Where Silence Ends” by Angela Ruiz & Mary Ruiz.
Visit the book: Where Silence Ends
Where Silence Ends is the story of a Mexican-American mother-daughter duo telling the story of healing and redemption. The book talks of years of sexual and physical assault and how she learnt to break away from the imposed silence and finds a way of light. The book revolves around a Mexican family which comes to the USA with starry eyes, full of dreams. Troubles set in when the family sees the darker side.
About the authors
Mary Ruiz was born in Southern California, the first child in the family to be born out of Mexico. She has three children and two grandchildren. She is living a purpose to meet and reach out to people who have suffered years of trauma. She wants to give them the strength to come forth, share their story and gain their share of strength.
Angela Ruiz, daughter of Mary Ruiz is a writer and she chose to tell the story of strength and hope intertwined in the story of her mother. She is a first-generation child in the USA on her father’s side and second-generation on her mom’s side.
The conversations and confessions of the mother-daughter duo form the central theme of the book where they both try to share and understand the inter-generational story of the Madero family. The family seems idealistic at the outset but is broken into pieces when you see it closely. The personal accounts hold you close to the story and indulge you.
The premise of the book
The book starts two generations before Angela Ruiz. This is the story of her grandmother, Elena who became a victim of abuse at a very young age. She was forced to marry Hector Madero as he threatens to kill Elena and her family if she declines his offer to marry. This phenomenon of “Bride Kidnapping” is still functional in many parts of the world where a man forces a woman into marriage after raping her.
Though Elena’s parents are fully supportive of her, they can offer little help to her daughter. Elena is married to Hector as soon as his father gets back from the USA.
Elena is blessed with a baby boy, Little Hector whom she raises without shadows of his father. But she is unable to keep the abuse and violence of Hector towards his son. He is back from the USA as Little Hector turns 9. This is where abuse and violence become commonplace in Madero house as Little Hector gets physically assaulted and his mother gets abused.
These incidents stay for a long time to come and make the basis for imposition of Angela’s Silence….
The book explores the Madero family across generations to relive the family history and understand the cracks that exist in the Madero castle. It discusses at length how violence and abuse mixed with fear and manipulation has impacted wives and children. This is the story of Esperanza, who survives years of sexual, physical and mental abuse to rise above manipulation and end her silence.
This book ends her silence.
The manipulating father and his abuse
Little Hector married Carmen. They made a beautiful couple. Little Hector worked very hard to keep his family financially secure and eventually enabled the movement of his family to Southern California. Everything was perfect on the outside but there was a storm brewing inside the family!
At age five, I can recall everyone was in bed. My father was in the living room nude and had me laying on the sofa. My panties were off, and again his penis was touching my private part. I do not remember if his penis was partly in, or just touching me. I know I was constantly abused, but cannot remember each time
— Angela Ruiz in Where Silence Ends
This is the starting of Hector becoming the paedophile and Carmen becoming the enabler. Over the next few years, the incidents of sexual abuse keep getting worse from bad.
Esperanza is a soft and vulnerable target. Children are not able to comprehend the abuse and are easily intimidated which refrains them from telling these incidents to anyone. Hector used this fact to his advantage and extended the abuse to other kids in the Madero clan. Esperanza’s friends and cousins were constantly flashed and forced to have oral sex with him. Esperanza was the most frequent target as she was the daughter.
Hector forced her to watch her mom and him when they had sex. He threatened her to make the baby sitter girl watch Hector and Carmen having sex. The abuse was not defined and limited. It also extended physically.
From the time I was little, I recall him telling me how stupid I was. He would hit me with his hand and whip me with a belt. I remember going to elementary school and being embarrassed because I had bruises all over my legs.
— Angela Ruiz in Where Silence Ends
What is more surprising is that nobody came to help Esperanza. She used to pray to God that everything would be fine and she would come out of the abuse. Her own mother was making the abuse convenient for the father.
The redemption
Years of trauma see the light of the day as she grows older and gets a full scholarship at the University of California, Irvine. She meets Ricardo, a man whom she later marries and starts a family with. She tells about the abuse to Ricardo before marrying but they never discuss it at length. They talk about it as their daughter, the author discusses the incidents for writing this book.
Esperanza tries to forget and move on with her life. She does not give herself time to process years of trauma. It comes haunting after years when her son, Ricky is taken away from her in some misunderstanding.
That is the point where she sees a therapist and starts writing accounts of her abuse. This is when she decides to discuss this with her brothers, who were unknown about such horrible things happening to her sister under the same roof.
The Minireads ‘Where Silence Ends’ by Angela Ruiz, Mary Ruiz Review
I have read accounts of daughters being molested by their fathers in the newspaper. I never read or heard an account this close and personal before reading “Where Silence Ends”. Every woman has a story of abuse and assault which they would like to talk about. Not a lot of women have the courage to speak up and weave it into a beautiful story. Angela and Mary have done that. The fact that Mary got big support from her daughter to give words to her trauma, adds another layer to the emotional feel of the book.
The story torments you, brings flashbacks of traumas ever happened to you and makes you realize the silence you have kept over the events. Maybe we lacked the courage to speak, or just could not do it for the sake of maintaining peace. Either ways, the silence perpetuated.
“Where Silence Ends” gives you the courage. This book uncovers how abuse or years of trauma does not define you, your courage does. I wish more people read this book, especially in India where women keep on witnessing frequent incidents of sexual and physical violence, especially from their intimate partners.
End the silence. End the abuse.
If you have read the ‘Where Silence Ends’ by Angela Ruiz, Mary Ruiz, I am keen to know your thoughts of this book.