We reviewed Where Silence ends a couple of weeks ago and we are here with the Author interview from Angela and Mary Ruiz. I hope you will enjoy reading the interview as much as I enjoyed taking it.
Read the Review: Where silence ends
The Interview: Where silence ends
Minireads: Hi Angela and Mary, thanks for taking out your time to give an interview to Minireads. I finished reading and reviewing your book last week and I must admit, I am moved. Coming from India, where physical and mental abuse is very prevalent, I could feel the pain in your story. What was special was your journey towards healing. Speaking of which, I would like to ask Mary how difficult was it to decide on writing this book?
MARY: The decision to write the book was easy because I knew that others had to hear my story. I felt that if others heard my story it would help in their healing or in understanding others affected by sexual, mental, physical abuse or in any other trauma. I felt that I needed to share so that others could open up as I had done in order to heal.
Minireads: Mary, I have read the book and I know that Ricky has been an amazing husband, sharing all your worries and has been very accepting towards your past. How does it feel to have your husband by your side while you overcome your deepest fears?
MARY: Having my husband by my side as I have dealt with trauma has been a blessing, yet not always easy. In the beginning, my husband had a difficult time speaking about my abuse, and as years passed he became more comfortable and would listen to me when I needed to speak about my past and hold me when I needed him most.
Minireads: Angela, my next question is to you. When you both decided to write this story and considered that it is so emotional and it’s about your mother, how emotionally challenging was it to write this book, being her voice?
ANGELA: I wrote the book at 32 years old, but in reality, this journey was in the works for over a decade. My mother first approached me when I was 16 years old and voiced that one day, she’d like to write the story of her twisted and yet triumphant life with me. I’ve had over a decade to think about this, but none of that could have prepared me for the actual journey of writing the book. It is by far one of the most beautiful and emotional things I’ve ever done. I’m still processing and will likely continue that journey for the foreseeable future. All I knew was exactly what my mom felt over a decade ago — it was time to speak up. Alas, Where Silence Ends is the result of a tiny seed growing roots and shooting up towards the sun.
Minireads: After this book, what are you both planning to do to help other women break their silence?
ANGELA & MARY: One of the most rewarding aspects of writing this book is that it instantly makes others around you open up about traumatic situations that they’ve been through in their lives. The process of sharing trauma and healing through storytelling is a powerful process, and that alone is rippling out and helping other women and men break their silence. We also plan to donate a percentage of every purchase to providing therapy for child survivors of sexual abuse. This is one of the pieces I’m most proud of.
Minireads: What would be your advice to girls and women going through abuse every day? How would you encourage them to live a life of hope?
ANGELA: Find your internal happy place and live there as much as possible and practice regulating your breath. Understanding how to care for your body, mind, and spirit are essential in healing. For me, it helps to understand what’s going on biologically so that I can understand how to change the direction of traumatic stress reactions. A super useful book is, “The Body Keeps the Score” by Psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk.
MARY: My advice to girls and women going through daily abuse would be to talk, talk about it, and tell others. The more that we talk about the abuse, the easier it is to change things and for oneself not to feel ashamed and to put the shame on the abuser. Never allow your abuser to make you feel that you are not worthy of love. You are beautiful and should feel self-love. God has given me much love and hope throughout my life and I look for it in the smallest things. It is important to learn to focus on positive things no matter how small it may be in a storm of problems. We can change a situation by making the tiniest blessing into a life of hope
Minireads: Lastly, I would love to know how your family members took this book, Mary, and how have their perspectives changed ever since they have read your story?
ANGELA: Before fully diving into the writing of the book, my mom and I met with each of her brothers to let them know what we were doing. They were supportive and followed my mom’s lead, though I do think they were nervous. But who wouldn’t be? I also approached all my cousins on my maternal side and received loads of love and thanks for helping heal our ancestral trauma.
MARY: As adults and prior to writing the book, my family knew that I was sexually abused by my father, however, they had no idea to what extent. After reading the book, many family members have reached out to me with beautiful words of kindness and love. Others with a broken heart and wished that they had known about it growing up so they could have helped me. I am thankful for the love and support that I have received from family, friends, and others whom I have not had the privilege of meeting. Sending much love and hope.
I hope you all enjoyed the interview. Please read the book and share the article with your friends.